Monday, September 5, 2016

In the book, "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" by Gary Chapman, he describes five (5) love languages.  They are:  physical affection, acts of service, gifts, quality time together, and words of affirmation. Most people have a primary love language, and then a secondary one.

You know you feel truly "loved" when your partner "speaks" your love language. This is not always easy because if your love language is "acts of service" and his language is "gifts", then if he tries to express his love for you by speaking his language (not yours) and gives you gifts, it could miss the mark and fall short, since your love language is different.  So the key is to identify your partner's love language and then "speak" their love language (not yours) as often as possible. It's fun to find out what each other's love languages are.  Usually it's pretty obvious, and no, the guy's primary love language is not usually "physical affection."

My husband, Michael's primary love language is "quality time together" and knowing this, I focus on being fully present and engaged in our time together.  His secondary love language is "physical affection" and that's an easy one for me to "speak" to him, since that is my secondary one too.  Touching, caressing, physically cherishing him really says, "You are loved."

And Michael definitely speaks my primary love language" which is "words of affirmation." He is a writer, so I lucked out. For years, while in the corporate world, I'd receive a "Good morning, Beautiful" daily email from him and it often included some tidbit of appreciation. I never tired of this, and glowed and basked in his expression of his love for me.

For my 60th birthday, he wrote 60 affirmations.  I've already got some of them memorized and even reference them by number.  For example, #60 sure reflects our new love of the delicious and addictive Ecuadorian "pan" or rolls.

Enjoy - I've posted them below. I hope it inspires you to start speaking each other's love languages more and quite often!

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